So, this is our 30's...
I have to have a minor surgery today. I accidentally got hit in the face with a ball a few months ago. Everything seemed fine, but then I started having tooth pain, and the found out I was lose bone in my jaw! So today, part1, will be a bone graph. I have no idea what to expect, and of course google scared the crap out of me. From what I do know though…I will be sore for at least 2 weeks as the bone graphing (I know thats not what it’s actually called). takes effect. I have some valium to take before hand as I have always suffered from extreme dental phobia. It’s just the feeling of not being in control and having someone standing over me with sharp objects I guess. I usually end up walking out of every dental visit sweating, shaking and with the chills.
I’ve also continued to text with the “baby mama” guy - god I hate that term. It seems so trashy to me, they are the mother of your children.
BUT…and here's the other issue, other than the surgery today….he has been so so so sweet and understanding when I have cancelled on him. I thought he would get the point - I even “ghosted a little). When I told him how much pain my mouth was in he offered to come over, then he offered to rent movies all day, eat ice cream, and pamper me. Now listen….I’ve been around the block, there is just a part of me that feels its not his only intention to come over and be sweet. And after surgery, I am not going to be in the mood if he attempts to make an advance. Plus clearly - he must have super sperm if he's gotten 2 different women pregnant while using protection. He could sneeze and get my pregnant.
I’m not sure what to do anymore. Should I give him another chance? Am I asking for trouble dating or falling for a guy who already has 2 kids with 2 different women? Or am I throwing away a perfectly good chance at a good guy? Or is he jus trying to get laid? I mean he rarely knows me, we’ve been on one date, and texted (and I don’t count texting as a relationship builder).
I know that because I’ve come out of such a hard relationship, I’m questioning everything and not wanting to risk anything.
Here are a few of the texts he sent me, but all I keep thinking is, well, every man is one their very best behavior in the beginning so who knows if it’s real or not. Regardless, depending on my surgery tomorrow, I’ll likely be in bed most of the day, and I plan to try and set up a date with someone new for late next week. I need to get myself out there - because all I am doing now is doubting myself. Happy Friday everyone!
Well as you know Date 51was a disaster last week. After that I stopped logging into any of the dating apps I use (mostly tinder) and have been spending time with family. Well Saturday rolls around, and I go to a brunch with a few girlfriends, and drank quite a bit of champagne. It was a great time catching up and dishing on our lives.
I got home around 4 pm, and my neighbor - whom I met on Bumble, but when we realized we lived in the same apartment community we decided not to date (I wasn’t all that interested). Over time we have become friends, we discuss the people we date, we don't go out, just hang around our apartment when board, so everything is on the up and up. Well he invited me over to hang out since we both had nothing to do. Which is great we really have fallen into a good friendship, even going out and getting other people numbers etc.
When I get there (2 min walk) its clear he’s been drinking. Well…he offers me (I don’t want to incriminate myself here, but he offers me something to make the night a little more fun. I took it, and felt pretty great for the next 5 hours. Time went by sooooo slowly. Well….one thing leads to another and he sits on the couch next to me and starts kissing me. At first I pushed him away lightly, and he did seem slightly perturbed, but then he started again, and I don;t know what came over me, but I joined in. We then (by now it;s like 3am), he says we should go lay down in the bedroom until what we took about an hour or maybe even more. The entire time this was happening in the back of my mind I was thinking “god I don’t like him in the way, he's full of himself, sexist and entitled, and just all around not my type.
When I finally did turn to the clock it was 6am, we had been awake the entire night. I decided to leave and head back to me own apartment. Part of me is upset for crossing that line, or even kissing someone I don’t like romantically. We don’t even have chemistry outside of friendship.
Nothing between us has been awkward so far, I stopped by his place to drop off his jacket he left here and we ended up watching the debates with no physical touching etc, Or talk or the night before.
I think he and I in the end are both lonely. Physically and mentally, My goal for this week is to set up a date with someone new and keep getting myself out there. I should let 2 bad experiences stop me.Hopefully date number 52 of the year will be the best one yet.
If anyone could tackle the dating world, or world in general even in modern day, I say hands down it's the Golden Girls. This show has always been a favorite of mine, and was even rated on Rolling Stones top 100 tv shows this year (2016), so I'm not alone. They inspired the title of this blog, not one I intend many people to read, but I think it will be a great resource to vent my....well....feelings?..
I'm a 30 something, and last week...I had my 51st first date this year (not total)...I'm not sure whether to be ashamed or proud. 51 doesn't include the men I decided to go on second dates with…I’m not counting those. I know dating is a numbers game, and that’s how I’m treating it. The more first dates, the more likely I am to find THE ONE. I’m realistic. I know what I wan’t and I am churning through dates - or men I suppose to find it. Jesus it’s exhausting. I know there are many out there who don’t agree with my process, even many of my friends don’t.
My 51st date was nothing special. If anything it was a huge disappointment. We met on tinder, I knew he had kids…So I debated going out with him, but I have been a hermit all month, I needed to get back on that dating horse. I had to at least “bag a few fours” as my friends would tell me (I’d say I am a solid 7 1/2- 8 on a good day). Lets call him a confidence booster.
As I sat there looking at him, hearing the words “I know I didn’t tell you, but I have two baby mommas”. Excuse me? Of course I didn’t say this out loud, I knew he had kids, and even that was a stretch for me, the girl always looking for an excuse to get out of a date (I know that sounds contradictory i.e. 51 dates). I decided to finish the night by ordering 3 drinks over our french fries at the bar. The beers helped, he paid, and we spent about 3 hours chatting it up. He was a nice guy don;t get me wrong, but being a 30 something, I am well aware the fact he didn’t marry any of these women is a huge red flag, and he’ll be paying these women money the rest of his life. He talked about his ex all night, with whom he lived with just 2 months prior. To me, that’s enough to cut him loose but what do I do instead? Make out with him at the car…sigh…why do I do this? I blame the beer. He’s been texting to try and set something up ever since. I guess on to date 52 - with someone else.
Remember that horribly awkward date Dorothy went on with Blanches uncle at the end of the series? It felt like a version of that, without the happy ending.
I'm a 30 something, living in a busy city in the US. I chose this place to be my outlet for my dating adventures over the next year, while I try and find some version of love. Here I am, in all my horrendous glory.