So, this is our 30's...
Yeah, I did something dumb.....REALLY dumb.....I had been drinking, thats no excuse, but here I go....I am going to just be honest, and in truth, it's a learning lesson for me, and I am looking into recourse. No lectures needed.
I don't even want to write it......I was dating a guy, not long, and sent him an intimate photo that I had taken when I was with my serious bf. This guys refused to delete it. Threatened me with it etc. As you can imagine I was VERY upset and put a hold om my blog, and deleted anything about him in hopes he would do the right thing. He didn't. I'm still upset....but it was my fault, and I have to just get passed it now. I cant keep begging him to do it. Ugh. Hate myself.
I might make a trip to the ASPCA....which is probably a bad idea but I have a few months off now, and makaybe it'll cheer me up.
I removed a few blogs, I ended up going on this really bad date that I thought was good and he has some stuff of mine that he won't give back. So I just need to find a different dating scene and different people a lot of shit went down last night and today so I have the day off and I'm going to get some stuff done. I hope everyone had a great start to their new year. <3
we have been through a lot together good and bad. But it's nights like these where I get a sports jab from my one brother and sister, and then another brother texting me car matience facts, and a nephew who just shaved his head and his wife is unhappy. We're a fun bunch. ❤❤❤❤
It about to let him force myself into private mode by liking every single picture I ever posted to blow up my phone. Phone on mute and no tinder next year.
I'm lucky enough to be able to have friends who host some fabulous NYE events. This friend in paticular, I've known for maybe.....what.....15 years or more? He is who I came to with the hardest decision I faced last year. Commit and marry a man who would be a perfect husband, father, provider, I could without a DOUBT in my mind trust him, He loved me with everything inside of him, his family was nice - and that was something I always liked. And this friend opened his door to me, while I was in tears (very unlike me) to listen to my considerations of walking away from this safe life. And asking him what was wrong with me that I didn't love this person? Did love really matter anyways? I mean look where we both came from, and a bunch of other things. SO maybe this is life. I was just being stupid and not opening myself up to him - even though I had been trying to for 3 years. Maybe you don't need passion etc. , I just flooded him with things I had been keeping to myself for years since everyone around me just adored him.
Thankfully he took me in, let me decompress for a few days before deciding what to do next.
My moms advice was you don't always neeed love if he loves you thats enough.....,but that felt so unfair, to him, and to myself, I knew that day I would rather be alone, that be with someone who I didn't really love.
Our new anthem
Music influences of our year:
Mine: He is underated as an artist, and the lyrics in this are my favorite, and have always spoken to me,
and because it reminds them of me: <3 happy new years all
Jays: "wern't we all that punk kid"
bringing in the new year with my closest friends. No pictures after 6pm. And it all stays behind the gate. ;)
so, we're here at the beach it was just sort of on whim kind of thing. Excuse any errors for using voice text. We're waiting for the bonfire to get restarted. And here I am and I get a message on my phone from someone that I had decided to stop dating. A while back we talked about ghosting versus being straightforward and I really felt being straightforward was a better choice. So I told him that it just wasn't a good fit he tried to ask you know what wasn't working, could he do something ddifferent etc. but it just wasn't the right fit for me. So some time goes on and he messages me asking you now can we be friends, When I know he's only interested in me romantically so I know it's not really a good idea. I just don't see him being truthful. So after he continued to text me he started trying to get me to go ahead on this business with him and I thought about it for a second and decided no the sound like a bad idea. I blocked him on my iphone, becuase U was annoyed, and felt bad, he wasnt a horrible person - clearly lonely) Then I decided to ghost since he wouldn't stop texting and I already made it clear I wasn't interested anymore it's been about a week and of course he is at it you would think if I'm not responding on text or Tinder you wouldn't hit me up on Facebook. I had just change my profile picrure, so...yeah...I'm alive.... If I'm interested I'd text and want them back. I feel like a bitch defriending him, but whatever.
I adore my roommate, but she just let me know she's going to be MIA for the week. I'm looking forward to having some friends over, and maybe a small party without worrying about noise etc. Happy New Years (Almost!)
on another note, my best friend sent me this, she thinks she's hilarious. ;) Punkass, but the holidays were fun....lol
I think this next week will be a blast! <3
I'm a 30 something, living in a busy city in the US. I chose this place to be my outlet for my dating adventures over the next year, while I try and find some version of love. Here I am, in all my horrendous glory.